Sunday, October 09, 2016

Your grief will fit on these shelves

Every space that exists online – and there are some and there are none – reminds me of myself and my preoccupations and my ideas about myself and my ideas that I created by myself without the internet without anyone just me and that's the authentic and autonomous and identifiable me and not any other one. Since I've been here – in this place the place where I am – I've been missing people and since I've been here and not there, not where you are #notonfacebook not on your streets not in your way not in your breath not in your hands, people have been missed. I see me and not you in my place, where I am and you aren't, where I am and you never were or couldn't be, where perhaps we were or could have been but where you are no longer. Since I got here (and since it's about me),  time, my time, is measured by my progress, and since I got here and since time is mostly mine, some time hasn't passed for some people, some people haven't been measured by time, and some people have passed. I wrack it up, I measure it, not in a lonely style (although I'm not unlonely), but because there's no other style, because I measure it because I have only the measure I have, and so I note the passing and I pass the notices only #notonfacebook. If only friends and family wrote obituaries in dead formats, in blogs and myspace, then  I could understand, I could consume the dead or death of a friend or friends like a browser. All these deaths that are outside from the inside. If everybody would talk about every death that matters to me online all of the time somehow, I would curate or polish or populate or breed or milk or make a living stream of the deaths of my friends until the day comes – and it is not so far from now, in this time – that the internet and the electricity are only now available for the acutely and richly and eminently possessed, the eminently-credentialed bereaved, with the best customer service apologies for the hold-up to the rest of you in limbo, in waiting, in suspense, in grief and whose lives are on pause, who are buffering, who are selected for pre-buffering thanks to our competent algorithm which measures how close you were to the deceased. We can see from our lookup tables that the death of a disco dancer or a young dot is not a death that's personal enough to you to warrant instance access, and we're sorry we feel you we're serving you this lovely video from a mattress company to remind you that all living intimacy is a thing you can buy with confidence from a lovely website.

Sunday, June 01, 2014

We Hold Generosity Cautiously

Fifteen and that's the best I'll give you. The number came to me through a flash of insight, remaindered after a process of reflection which guaranteed nothing except an outcome.

Severally speaking, consider this as your MO from now on:

  1. think seriously about your friends when you do something alone
  2. break off the activity to email them to tell them that you're actively seriously thinking about them
  3. return to the activity (still alone) but allow your friends to be present, active with you, because you've emailed them (2), present in thought in a way that's different from (1)
  4. allow yourself to be active differently, in the way that doing an activity alone and doing it with friends changes the activity
Charge the following activities with the recipe above:

- permit a living thing to grow or live (not all living things grow), but don't cultivate it, just endorse it, solitarily (1), with friends in mind (1-4)
- similarly, halve your decisions: 50% of the distinctions or options you deliberate are spurious, involve someone in thought (1) in the process of thinking about not thinking about those choices
- consider the absence of glitch (hi5 Mr Trick), alone and with friends in mind
- regret / charm the elements

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Being, Cheap. OR: Cookie policing.

The corner turned itself and observed its angularity: I think I look obtuse in this aspect. The lack of effort. An unoriginal corner, or, let us find charity or consideration for the less able corners; a neurotic corner, unprepared to pick better terms or make better points, oppressed by how it may be regarded. An overly self-regarding corner. How obtuse. How un.

The conceit is not complete. The form has not yet submitted itself to redundancy, although it was resigned for a while, while again again.

Through all this, and more, on days and other events, we recognised that the business or activity of noting the spaces into which our categories organised themselves was not yet without fruit, seed, potential, bearing, moment, calorie, factor, presence, leverage, charge. We persist, we persevere, we turn. We note the continuity, we find the flavours that haven't been controlled, resisted, exorcised, argued out of existence. Jst. JJst. Jjsst. Jjjjssst give it to me. Jjjjjjssssst given to me. But smile as you describe yourself, relieve yourself. Of your anxiety, by acknowing it with a grin. Self self self is hard. The corner is selfregarding awkwardly. Obtusely.

Here's stuff from that lad, and bless him (again with the gods among us, again with the frail momentum, again with the troubled hyphenation, again with the gilden complication, the charity or consideration for the less able corners, for the fallen falling failing heaven), bless him it's hard. Find space where you can. Look no listen and file it while (where) you can, the curtain is like rain. The time is back to us.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

One foot solidly in front of the other

"The word cute did not exist in his emotional vocabulary."

We're stuck with each other, far apart. Stuck apart. Let's connect, like a bully and the bullied, let's let our thoughts be preoccupied with each other until the last bell rings and we have to meet to settle ourselves; the relief of not having to think about each other and instead to be able to finally release the thoughts.

Here I'm preoccupied with Red Night by TVO, out July 2nd e.g. dead soon, on the excellent Broken 60 tape label. I won't remember it for you wholesale here, rather just go click on the soundcloud links and get your immersion tank warmed, then get on the orderage and nab yourself some future magneticals.

Here I'm immersing in Dem Hunger / Wanda Group / The Hers / Susie Sahara / Shelley Duvall / Hav Lyfe / Umbro G, still. I got on and fed myself a feed of all the free mediafire / bandcamp uploads he's been sharing. Get involved in GET INVOLVED IN MY THROAT. Get yerself to the CLEANERS. Spend but 1UKPOUND and have an individualised, bespoke, one-off, handcrafted CDR made and sent to you. EARTH INSIDER.

ccc-ed to your mum.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Still Ain't Dead

Precarious times. So they live embedded in so many online identities they keep forgetting that they drive content elsewhere. Drive this:

what follows is a tracklist. Nuffin long. 15mins, 11 tracks, 21MB.
Numan - Jurassic Park
Low Deep - Cheeky Violin refix
Waifer - unknown
Dot Rotten - Bazooka instru
Low Deep - Straight Flush 2
Numan - Punch Bag
Zomby - Aquafresh
Terror Danjah feat. Badness - Cut Out
Roll Deep - Avenue Heartache Refix instru
Spooky - Morgue refix
John Cohen - Seiki dub remix
So I'd fill you in, but that would be to assume that blogs are still a viable online currency. Or, rather, to assume that you are still a viable online identity, one which reads blogs, one which blogs, one which isn't stuck outside, one which has value, one with attitudes (regardless if attitudes, being mostly nonexistent, are more or less unviable).

So here we are. Listening and sharing, just like the oldener days. Some people died, some people grafted, each of us travelled somewhere, and here we meet to join up eyes and ears on a common driven content. Our mutual gaze isn't going out of style. Our capacity for mutuality will outlast us. EVEN us.

Thursday, June 09, 2011

Swung It Brung It

Don't shop what you can't find in a place where they sell that stuff you like the look of but always looks weak when you get it home. Only shop the things you find there. It'll look better the more of it you get. It'll look eclectic. You'll develop taste and character. People'll gonna look at your collection and see movement and symmetry and decision where there was nothing but regret cos it looked weak when you first brung it home. They'll wanna shop in a place like yours but they shouldn't. They should only shop what they can find in a place where it sells that stuff that they like the look of but always looks weak when they git it home.

What's new? Here's the story:

1. I'm hooked on DEM HUNGER's projects, and there seem to be many of them, all scarcely promoted - intentionally weak metadata. This goes subcutaneous. He's got a language of paint and bodily fluids working out, viscera, pond foam and scum, gender identity lost in hacked up b&w photos of chossy rubble, and all bundled up in toddler-sodden oily rags of abuse. Don't contemplate it, just let it corrode you. Check Leaving Records for some Dem Hunger / Durlin Lurt tapes and releases. Also look up his/her Sandra stuff. This tumblr hooks you up with regular mediafire sounds, and the twitter keeps your mind on the filth. It's Ghedalia Tzartes with colour synesthesia, tourette's syndrome, and diesel fumes.

2. Hooked on the new Dalglish release on Highpoint Lowlife - Benacah Drann Deachd. The label's coming to a close, but this is a renewed, restrengthened output for an artist whose been bubbling away at brewing a distinct sound in the murky world of glimmering glitches and gently resistant undertowed drone. There's a completely cohesive structure to everything that goes on in here - you remember those Asa-Chang and Jun Ray releases on the Leaf Label, laying out their precession and procession by tightly constrained mathematical rules of proportion? But here the way of going isn't so self-consciously Up Front - it has a closer parallel, perhaps, to the dj's craft, shifting the tension and the release by aligning and misaligning the dropouts on distinct compositions while playing them simultaneously. [That's what good djs do, at least.] Get immersed.

3. You're already hooked on em, but so am I: Sonic Router's awesome podcasts on the Bleep podcast. Obviously it's tough for anyone who doesn't have super-extended time to keep up with everything that SR links up to - you need 56 hours in a day just to get part of the drift of the world of fantastic music that SR seems to have a hotline direct into. So these are fragmentary snippets of the bigger SR picture, the condensation of each year's week of that world, keepin it bass, friendly, booty and tuff. All good, all the time - a force not to attempt to reckon, the human mind is mostly finite.

4. eat this
YOU HEARD by JoeRuckus

Monday, September 06, 2010

Certain Retributivist

In case you keep forgetting how blogs work: click the words to find the music. Like this. Comment.

click> Cats | Share | Music. This is all of the internet. [You need to be logged in for deep embedding. This is all of the internet].

click> Simian sharing. They dance, we dance.

click> Generous gifts. Epic is the prerogative of our generation, unconstrained by owt.

click> Broken gifts. Effort is the new reward.

These are where we are. This is us now.

Let's not be hasty.

What does it mean to change your mind? No judgement in brainstorm sunchina, so just put it out there - let the questions' roles work their maybes. A pitch: to change your mind, do you have had to have had one made up? Is mind-changing indicative of (or even presupposed by) once-having-decision-making done? Alternatively, on the other hand, moresoever: perhaps, or perhaps not, change-minding falls afoul of a rational problem - from where do we think as we move the mind? An old problem, and unfixed.

Two perspectives on a changing mind:

(i) it encourages nostalgie, since the old ways (from which we have certainly deviated) are reevaluated in a new light; things weren't so bad, why did we stray so far, can alt-retro ever (re)capture the authentic elderly? Apologia, revisionism, reversion.

(ii) it opposes nostalgia (except, perhaps, nostalgie de la boue): we are here to move away from the present old ways, they are broke, we misunderstand current practice - we think it is rich but it is bankrupt not. Iconoclasm, revolution, revision.

There is work here to be done, but only gnomically. Gnome on, again.